In Cancer Christ’s warped denomination, our boys in blue are very much despised by the lord, Jesus legitimizes his war crimes by the size of his genitalia and the death penalty applies mostly to those of the ruling class. Satire has to hurt and Cancer Christ understand this—it is time to take off the velvet gloves. DO YOU WANNA READ A GREAT FUFUFUCKING REVIEW!
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Svdestada – Candela Review
With a woman in a robe on the cover stretching air and red light, it’d be easy to dismiss Candela as just another longing metalcore album. And while there are shades of that in riff assembly, Svdestada (a stylized version of sudestada which simply means “southeast”), hailing from the burgeoning punk scene of Spain, self-describes as blackened crust. We’ll take our patatas bravas golden brown though…
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Notochord – Aegis Review
Tired of searching that progressive metal tag on Bandcamp and finding a djent in your soup? Well, here’s something metalicious for you (or is it?).
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Sulfuric Hatred – Sulfuric Hatred Review
Formed last year by Undeath vocalist Alexander Jones and Liam McMahon, Sulfuric Hatred try to establish a sense of identity in the swamp of other War Metal bands by adding dash of stompy Hardcore to their potent concoction. This most extreme sect of Black/Death Metal is one of the most tricky to navigate due to an obscenely large amount of far-right leaning or otherwise disclaimer-worthy bands. Luckily, Sulfuric Hatred is not one of these. We reserve the disclaimers for the black metal bands.
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Slow – Abîmes I Review
Funeral Doom Metal and minimalism go together like Nutella and toast. As a genre of music that forces you to pay attention to the ever-so-slow subtle details, most metalheads will turn away from this niche of a niche. But metalheads don’t turn away from Nutella and toast. Click through to receive a discount code for your next purchase of Nutella products. No, this is not sponsored content… right?
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Jarhead Fertilizer – Carceral Warfare Review
Filth. Filth is to the modern Death Metal fan what atmosphere is to the Black Metal Fan. Often, the sales pitch I get from non-reviewers is that an album is “seriously filthy”. As a descriptor, this helps very little in describing an albums sound, but it is even less conductive in referring to the writing of an album, which I ultimately put more emphasis on as a reviewer than sound. Don’t take a shower yet, you still have to read the review!!
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Varathron – The Crimson Temple Review
The factor that sets Varathron apart from other bands playing a similar style is the catchy, fun sound they give the listener. It’s hard not to pump your fist at “Immortalis Regnum Diaboli”. The Crimson Temple has opened its doors for the faithful. It’s up to you if you choose to worship at this altar or not. The Varathron Witnesses are knocking at your door.
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Sublation – On the Advancement of Decay Review
The guitar solos in “Born Out of a Whim” and “Like a Fire That Consumes All Before It” are very fun and inject an extra bit of “oomph” into the songs that would be devoid of substance without them. On the advancement of OOMPH!
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Undulation – An Unhealthy Interest in Suffering Review
Undulation got cred from the hipster-ish side of the metal internet, and they frankly do check out all the boxes. For a Death Metal Band, they are more emotionally driven and the female vocalist does a lot to sell it. Scuttlegoat has an unhealthy interest in Death Metal.
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Crypts of the Unknown: Capilla Ardiente – The Siege
