My probably blasphemous view on black metal is that it’s best compared to chicken, not fish. That is to say–don’t serve that shit raw. Oh, I know the proud history of this genre of ours, but good production makes it all the better. Still, I’ll try anything twice, so when looking for something to take my mind off of some food poisoning, something described as emotive melodic raw black metal sounded right.
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Soen – Reliance Review
You ever known someone who has to tell you they’re reliable to remind you that they’re reliable? Well, here’s Soen doing that with melodic rock gusto, while our ol’ reliable Gator… makes it to the end. Trust us, you’ll want to, at least, read the review! We’re reliable.
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Eximperitus – Meritoriousness of Equanimity Review
Eximperitus are finally back, and their new album Meritoriousness of Equanimity brings more of the majestic riff-craft these Belarusians are known for. Killer riffs, killer vocals? Cosmo gets technical…
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$LAMUARY 2026 – Week 4
January (?) is a time for resolution, reflection, new beginnings, and SLAM. We don’t discriminate: if it slams, we jam. Join us for Slamuary at The Goat Review to DROP HAMMERS ON 2026! Slam IS ALWAYS ON TIME@@@
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Orchid Throne – Buried in Black Review
Our cranky gator found Lor back in 2020, but what will Lor’s bassist’s solo project Orchid Throne do for him? Find out here.
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The Ruins of Beverast – Tempelschlaf Review
Some bands are great enough to make Scuttlegoat rise through the January sludge of slam-diving. After all, why not take a break with some quality music when $lamuary fails to deliver? But sometimes shit hits the fan even after they escape the sewers.
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Ulver – Neverland Review
Ulver are a strange band and Neverland is another strange question mark under their belt. Starting out with its left field album cover, Neveland marks another shift in the band’s direction. This time we are in full deconstruction mode, floating in a vast space of possibility (or an abyss of it).
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Invictus – Nocturnal Visions Review
Join Bobo for his morning seminar on bear nutrition. Start by grounding your breakfast with some Noctrunal Visions, before you move on to the D that Invictus graces your tastebuds with.
Read more$LAMUARY 2026 – Week 3
January is a time for resolution, reflection, new beginnings, and SLAM. We don’t discriminate: if it slams, we jam. Join us for Slamuary at The Goat Review to DROP HAMMERS ON 2026! Slam IS ALWAYS ON TIME@@@
Read moreUnlock the Crypts
Crypts of the Unknown: Bergraven – Det Framlidna Minnet
