Couch Slut built their reputation on shocking violence, both sonically and lyrically. The five-piece (formerly four) have always also delighted in shocking and discomforting their mostly male audience with song titles such as “Rape Kit” and “Little Girl Things”. You Could Do It Tonight starts with “Couch Slut Lewis”, named after children’s author, Christian apologist, and serial misogynist C.S. Lewis. The song itself rides an unhurried, even languid beat as Megan Osztrosits tells a story of rape she encountered as a young touring musician. The song never deviates from the beat, but more and more elements get introduced until the final seconds where Osztrosits howls: “She looked up at me, and God, was she pissed”.
“Couch Slut Lewis” is emblematic of one of two types of songs on You Could Do It Tonight: short, simplistic noise rock/sludge songs that make you want to smash your head into a wall. “Ode to Jimbo” is in that same vein, beginning with a blast of woodwind skronk (shehnai and flute) followed by a death metal riff. Another fantastic song, but one that sounds suspiciously similar in construction to their past workâthis exact opening was used on Contempt in “Funeral Dyke”. “Wilkinson’s Sword” (now known as “CENSORED” after the company got mad) represents the other kind of song on this album. Long-form and melodic, “Wilkinson’s Sword” sings an intimate ballad about self-harm. A welcome change of pace after two fast-paced but not immediately memorable songs, “Sword”‘s jagged broken glass guitars dig themselves into the brain with little resistance like sharp razors. “The Donkey” is a genuine ballad, where Osztrosits alternates between a speaking voice (the same one she’ll tell the same morbid stories to you after a show) and her normal howls. At the 3:54 mark, the noise rock abruptly cuts away into elevator ambience as Osztrosits finishes the story. The shift into pure spoken word may offend more metalheads than the musical and lyrical content itself, but it is a welcome reprieve after four songs of bludgeoning.
The B-side of the album officially opens up with “Energy Crystals for Healing”, a guitar-led song that reminds of new guitarist Dylan DeLella‘s other band (Pyrrhon). It is here, however, that a problem that has appeared on earlier Couch Slut albums becomes painfully obvious. Couch Slut have a very unique sound that don’t sound much like anyone else in noise rock. Their sound, however, makes their music quite self-similar, and I’ve found it extremely easy to lose track of where I am on the album. The B-side has three simpler songs in rapid succession, and all three tend to meld into one beer-and-tobacco-smelling whole. By the time the final track and ballad, “The Weaversville Home for Boys” comes by, many listeners may have moved their attentions elsewhere. Fortunately, “The Weaversville Home for Boys” draws heads immediately with a sample of Osztrosits and another woman (likely guitarist Amy Mills) driving by the titular Home that snaps into silence, with only Osztrosits screaming the beginning of the story. The final track plays to all of Couch Slut‘s strengths, telling a story of unpunished murder that is brought to its chilling conclusion with Osztrosits putting the listener in the driver’s seat witnessing what could very much be the aftermath of a murder. The guitars pulls back the heaviness and builds dissonances around the dual vocals of Osztrosits and guest vocalist Lyv Giordano, acting almost as harmony while the drums and bass keep a simplistic pace that highlights the story being told.
Saying “I preferred the ballads over every other song” would be insanity about almost every rock album. For Couch Slut, whose music is bound tight to their lyrical and thematic content, it does not seem too far-fetched. The more straightforward noise rock songs, while being good, pale in contrast to the sludgefest of their magnum opus, Contempt. Contrarily, the ballads on You Could Do It Tonight blaze an unexplored trail that I wish would be expanded upon in future albums. While the album closes with Osztrosits laughing that “when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail”; Couch Slut are much more than a one-trick pony.
